


At Night

by Morgane (smilla840)



Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mostly one-sided, Peter is desperately in love with his brother, Written during season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-19
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 07:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilla840/pseuds/Morgane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he was a kid, Peter used to have nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Night

**Author's Note:**

> Brief spoilers for Six Months Ago.

When Peter was little, he had nightmares about a big black shadow chasing after him, and falling, falling endlessly with no one there to catch him. He would find himself awake then, shaky and terrified, tears leaking from his eyes as he fought to free himself from his blankets.

He had learned at a young age not to go to his parents for comfort. So he would go to Nathan. Nathan, who always seemed to know when Peter would show up in his bedroom, and Peter liked to believe that his brother would wake up because Peter needed him to, and not because his door creaked when it opened.

Nathan would get up with a sigh and lift him on his bed until Peter got tall enough to slip in by himself. Peter would curl up against him and feel warm and safe. Protected. And he would fall back to sleep, the remains of his dreams fading away quickly, chased by his brother’s presence.

\---

When Peter was seven, their parents decided Nathan was old enough, at sixteen, to attend their New Year’s Eve party and start making acquaintances that would be useful for his future career. A career that had been mapped out for him the moment he was born.

Like all little brothers, Peter pouted and whined that he wanted to go too, but his mother just laughed, ignoring him. Nathan conciliatorily told him it wouldn’t be all that fun, but still Peter looked with envy as Nathan went down the stairs to meet their parents’ guests. Hidden behind the balustrade, he wished he was down there with all the pretty ladies and their bright dresses and their husbands in black and white. When his nanny finally found him, he let himself be herded back to bed, wishing he was all grown-up like Nathan. 

Two hours later, he was wide-awake again, the echoes of his nightmare still resonating in his head as he stumbled towards his safe haven. Only to find the room empty and no Nathan. Where was Nathan? his mind screamed. Then he remembered Nathan wasn’t there, but downstairs, the party not over yet. 

Determined to find his brother, he cautiously made his way down, fervently hoping not to run into his mom or dad. They would ask why he was still up, and they would be angry, and he just wanted Nathan. So he tried to make himself as tiny as possible and edged forward, hiding behind the furniture and looking around wildly for his brother. He finally caught sight of him in a corner, and his lower lip trembled. Almost there. 

He was about to make a break for it – for Nathan – when a woman stepped into his line of sight, stopping him in his tracks.

“Aren’t you adorable!” she squealed. “But shouldn’t you be in bed? I’m sure it’s past your bed time.”

Up close, the lady didn’t look pretty anymore. Her face was too red and she smelled funny. Peter backed away from her, feeling the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He wanted his brother _now_. Or he was going to start crying and…

Suddenly he found himself enveloped by strong arms and lifted from the ground. Nathan. His brother had found him and he would make everything go away now. Wrapping his little arms around Nathan’s neck, he buried his face against his shoulder and blocked out the world around them, only focusing on his brother. He could hear him talking, faintly, and knew without looking that Nathan had his fake smile on. Peter didn’t like that smile. Then Nathan was walking, arms securely cradling him and it didn’t matter anymore because the noises and smells faded around them, until they were just Nathan and Peter. 

By the time they reached his room and Nathan tucked the blankets around him, Peter was already fast asleep.

\---

The first time Nathan locked his door, he found his brother curled up in front of it the next morning.

He never locked it again.

\---

When Nathan left for college, Peter barely slept for weeks. Their parents just shook their head and said he would get used to it, except he didn’t. He was terrified of falling asleep and having a nightmare, and of Nathan not being there to make it better. 

The first time it happened, he went straight to his brother’s room, but it was cold and empty, already bereft of his presence. Nathan wasn’t there anymore. That realization hit Peter hard. Still, he crept into his brother’s bed, wrapped his arms around a pillow that smelled faintly of Nathan, and pretended it was his brother next to him.

When Nathan came home for Thanksgiving, Peter clang to him and promptly fell asleep on his lap. When he woke up, he found himself still attached to his brother and in his relief forgot all his promises to his parents about behaving, babbling about nightmares and not sleeping and please don’t go away again.

The next day, Nathan got him a cell phone and showed him how to use it, telling him to keep hidden under his bed.

The day after that, Nathan was gone again. 

And when Peter had a nightmare two weeks later, he took the phone from its hiding place and called his brother, falling back to sleep to the sound of his voice and steady breathing.

\---

As Peter grew older, the nightmares grew fewer. Still, he pretended to have them and sneaked into his brother’s room whenever he was there. 

Sometimes he would just lie there, and watch his brother sleep. And he would feel safe and loved, and in the mornings he would wake with Nathan’s arm flung carelessly over him, the weight of it reassuring. Sometimes, when he felt bold enough, he would trace his brother’s features and pray he didn’t wake, some part of him wishing he would anyway, just to see what he would do. Sometimes, he would wake up with his brother’s erection pressing against his ass, and sometimes Nathan would rock against him in his sleep, and Peter thrived, the thrill in his stomach almost making him sick. Once, his brother had come against him with a strangled moan, the sudden wetness spreading from his boxers to Peter’s, and it had been enough to make Peter come too. Then he had slipped out of bed, shaky and terrified and so in love with his brother it hurt, while Nathan slept on, oblivious.

He stopped going to his brother after that.

\---

Now, when he sleeps alone, Peter has those memories that play over and over again in his head and just won’t stop. He has his love for his brother, his secret, his shame. Except the shame fades, and there is only the love and the weight of it.

Until the night he brings his brother home from the hospital after the accident and man-handles him into bed because Nathan needs to get some sleep. Despite his protests, Nathan is asleep before his head hit the pillow, and the familiarity of it, the _want_ , is more than Peter can ignore.

So he slips into bed and Nathan instinctively moves towards him, something indistinct tumbling from his lips. And the pure joy that blinds Peter when Nathan wraps himself around him makes tears spring to his eyes. He has missed this. Missed feeling warm and special, and Nathan is heavy against him but he doesn’t care. The hugs his brother gives freely are never quite enough to fill that void inside him, to make him feel complete. 

Only this.

\---

In the morning, he will wake up before Nathan and kiss him – just this once, he’ll tell himself. But maybe Nathan will be awake already and kiss him back with an abandon that will scare them both. Maybe Nathan will pin him to the bed, ravaging his mouth and desperate for more. Maybe he will even fuck him then, and Peter will cry, clinging to his brother and bucking against him and begging, saying his name over and over again just because he can. It won’t be something whispered in the darkest of the night any longer, but shouted when Peter will feel his brother come deep inside him.

 

But it’s still yesterday for now, and Peter and Nathan sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my livejournal.


End file.
